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《头脑特工队》五星好评:情绪管理三大课  

2017-03-16 16:17:15|  分类: 默认分类 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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Lesson 1: When stress hits, you need your "islands"

第一课:当压力来袭的时候,你需要一个属于自己的“岛屿”

The key to Riley's sanity and happiness are her "islands" -- of family, friendship, playfulness (called "Goofy" island), and hockey, a sport she loves. But as she goes through the rough transition to San Francisco, one by one her islands crumble: She cuts off her friends from home, alienates her parents, and in her stressful state cannot even enjoy hockey anymore. Her sense of play goes out the window.

莱利理智跟幸福的关键就在于她的“岛屿”——家庭、朋友、好玩的东西(称为“傻瓜”岛屿),还有她热爱的曲棍球。但是在她度过去旧金山的那段艰难过渡时期时,她的岛屿一个接一个地崩塌了:她切断了家乡那边朋友们的联系,疏远了她的父母,压力大的时候甚至都不喜欢曲棍球了。出去玩的心情都没有了。

But as she recovers her sense of self, those islands are rebuilt, better than ever. You and I can't function without our islands, either. They might be your friendships, your beloved hobbies, your fitness routine, your favorite novels, your volunteer work. By spending time cultivating these "islands," you're not only enjoying yourself in the present, you're setting yourself up for support for future tough times. Each one provides support, and a place for you to retreat to and connect with.

但是当她恢复自我的时候,这些岛屿又重建起来了,并且比任何时候都好。你跟我同样也都不能没有我们自己的岛屿。他们可能是你的朋友,你热衷的爱好,你的健身计划,你最喜欢的小说,还有你的志愿者工作。通过花时间来培养这些“岛屿”,你不仅可以享受自己现在的状态,还能用它来支撑你未来的艰难时期。它们都会支持你,并且为你留了一个可以回归跟联系的地方。

Lesson 2: True joy isn't about being happy

第二课:快乐跟幸福无关

In the movie, Joy tries to squelch Sadness. Her motivation is pure: she wants Riley only to be happy, and Sadness poses a threat. But her efforts are misguided. Riley needs to feel Sadness; doing so helped her tell the truth about her feelings, mourn for the life she left in Minnesota, connect to her parents, and make peace with being in San Francisco. The only way to feel joy again is to move through the sadness, not avoid it.

影片中,“快乐”试图消除“悲伤”。她的动机很纯粹:她只希望莱利幸福,而悲伤却成了一种威胁。但是她的努力却起了反作用。莱利需要感受悲伤;悼念她留在明尼苏达州的生活,跟父母联系,以及适应在旧金山的生活,这样做能帮助她了解自己真实的感受。唯一能再次感到快乐的办法就是从悲伤中走出来,而不是去逃开它。

Your experience of sadness deepens your experience of joy. It makes it possible for you to move through the stressful event and reorient to the new reality you're in. Not only that, making room for sadness or other painful emotions makes you emotionally stronger, not as swayed or surprised by whatever emotions come up. You are more resilient because you understand yourself better -- and how your emotions can serve you, not rule you.

悲伤的体验会让你加深对快乐体验的印象。这才会让你有可能从压力当中走出来,并且融入到你所在的新的生活。不仅如此,在心里给悲伤或者其他的痛苦的情感留个空间,这会让你在情感上变得更强大,而不是被诸如此类的情感所动摇或感到惊讶。你会更有韧性,因为你更好地了解了自己——这样你的情感就能为所用,而不是将你征服。

Lesson 3: Resilience doesn't eradicate stress

第三课:韧性并不能消除压力

In fact, you can't eradicate stress, any more than you can stop the weather or live forever. There was no way for Riley to, say, change her parents' decision to move. Nor is she free from stress once she clears this one hurdle. And really, would you want to be? To do so would be like living in a padded room. Resilience is not meant to be that padded room; it's how you navigate a tough time and then get stronger -- more complex, capable, interesting, confident, kind -- from it.

事实上,你不能消除压力,除非你能改变现状或者永生。对莱利来说,根本没办法改变她父母要搬走的决定。她也不能清除这一障碍来获得解脱。并且说真的,你想要那样吗?这样做就像是活在一个温室里。韧性并不意味着那种温室;而是你如何度过艰难的时期,然后从中变得更坚强、更复杂、更有能力、更有趣、更自信、更善良。

The more resilient you are, the more challenges you may face, because you'll be ready to take it on. And the more rewarding those stressful times might be.

你越是有韧性,你面对的挑战就越多,因为你要准备好接受它。从而这些压力大的时期就更有价值。

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